Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

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Caged Clouds

In Terry Gilliam's Brazil (note that out of light preference to use national spellings when they're close to the English, I tend to spell the country "Brasil"), a lot of emphasis is made of the importance of dreams for the human spirit. Sam Lowry keeps his dreams/fantasies hidden from the world around him, partly to fill the "untamed man" motif of that genre of film). To understand someone, how important is it to learn and understand their dreams/fantasies? I don't think understanding the dream alone is enough, but I imagine that if people do have an active fantasy life, even if it never is expressed in real life, it might help give context for their behaviour and possibly predict it. One problem with trying to learn this kind of thing is that it's one of the most personal things one can ask - one can sometimes speculate the rough details if one really knows someone well and listens to things they repeat over the years, but to directly ask seems almost unthinkable. Perhaps some people don't even have such a thing... Applying it to some people I've been close to at various times, I see things that I've pieced together from leitmotifs towards an ideal with a few - the adegree to which these things are actually "meant" to be realised versus held varies with each of them. Someone I once was close to had highly visible life dreams that she changed several times every handful of years.

A book I've been reading recently, Pete Hamill's Forever, gives a story (so far - I'm slightly past halfway through) that's oddly close to one of my daydreams of this sort - the protagonist acquires a certain kind of immortaliy, and finds him perspective moving increasingly far from the people he surrounds himself with as the experiences weigh on him. I'm going to punt, for now, on describing my daydream of the sort, but I sympathise with the alienation from perspective.

Yesterday evening was a strange species of bird I haven't seen before - I've longed for a long time for a related bird, but what showed up was nice too. Today was good too - I woke up really early, took the accordion on a nice walk through the woods, and after some Matzohball soup at Kazansky's (decent, not great), I've been reading at the 61c. I keep thinking that something big is going to shift in my life soon, but I'm not sure what. It's half-intuition, half-logical.

Oh, yes, that Forever book I mentioned up there, it's worth reading. I think it's interesting how certain kinds of vengeance make a lot of emotional sense, even if their nuances and traditions associated with them can feel kind of ephemeral. Sometimes the need to systematise one's values lead to conclusions that are easily reached outside of a system feel less tenable, leaving a tension in one's value system easily evoked by certain cues. I think this is really interesting - it can easily feel like one's value system is out of alignment with one's values when that happens -- is it? Maybe sometimes.


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