Before soccer, I had a conversation
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That conversation soon morphed, with more people, into a related conversation about distance, intellectual/personal growth, and attendant difficulties. The word "tolerance" was suggested as a panacea.. Afterwards, soccer went well - I'm finally getting my cardio system up to the point where I can sprint. The gathering was a bit odd in that there were people from more-or-less separate parts of my life gathered into a soccer game. Another person I know looks like they're set up with Google via my reference, and I'm surprised that it looks like I may have temporarily diverted them from their long-term (and very public) goal of living in a third place. I seem to be acting a lot as a signpost for people to meet other people/events/opportunities recently, mostly things that I don't expect to become part of or remain with myself. It's come to feel appropriate in some way, like a square dance, perhaps. (oddly, I can almost hear the words of someone I used to know say the words "spirit guide", which, while I don't believe in such things, is likable imagery)
While playing, I noticed that my body (and everyone else's on the field) seemed to move in reaction to the ball in some watery pattern (I'm mainly talking about people not very near the ball), almost as if it were rehearsed, or .. no, probably more like there's some set of patterns and thresholds in each of us that make probabilistic fractals (I promise there's a rigourous interpretation here if you think about it for a moment) for where we "should" be on the field, and so we all move in concert to it, it "feeling like" the right thing to do for each of us, and thus emerge patterns. I struggled to maintain that feeling of immersion while remaining aware of it - it's much like how I see dancing, in that it involves turning "self-awareness" and "control" down a few notches.
Back to tolerance and bridging interpersonal gaps, one of the people in that conversation suggested that people learn to tolerate interpersonal difference. This isn't adequate for what I was aiming at - tolerance (taken to whatever extent is appropriate given that it is a value that competes with other values) on a broader level is important for societal smoothness, but it's important to note that it's both a value and a potential metavalue for society (in my framework, a metavalue is a value that operates on the structure of a system (either a value system or a governmental system) in a way distinct from being just another competing value - it acts structurally), and to fail to recognise the usages as distinct (or to phrase it as a metavalue in a more limited extent so it doesn't become a totalising value) could lead to problems in our value/ideal governmental system. Also, and a bit more important to the tie to the first conversation, tolerance of difference is not the same thing as feeling no burden. Some differences would be tolerated - they're occasional or persistent burdens (even if slight), some are not burdens at all (so the word "tolerate" feels a bit odd), and some very few are enjoyable. To tolerate or accept a difference still leaves people different from their peers - close friendships and beyond are built on similarities (in attributes, ideals, worldviews, or similar), and so the more people diverge from inculturation-norms, the harder having meaningful human ties becomes (at least, that's been my experience) unless they so happen to branch off in similar directions. Such growth is radial though - its lack of convergence means that intellectuals who let learning change who they are risk becoming more alone the further they go. If they're tolerant of difference, that'll make day-to-day living more pleasant, and let them have friendships outside a certain level, but closeness will become scarce (and possibly creates a mild-but-constant pressure to give up on some of this personal tailoring/growth in order to achieve the benefits of closer societal ties - a betrayal?)