Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn
dachte

Lonely

I'm in one of my lonely moods. Well, actually tonight it's kind of a really ugly mix of loneliness, jealousy, and self-directed anger. Bleh. Fortunately, Wally is here to keep me company. I could say more, but I suspect it just wouldn't be useful. I feel like there are plenty of things that I would be swell at, if people would give me a chance. Work, relationships, etc. Darn it, I'm devoted, I'm nice, I like pets, etc. What's not to like? When it comes to work, I'm also devoted, I love doing what I'm trying to get hired to do, I know a lot, etc. What's not to like? But alas.. there is probably just a certain something about me that means that I suck. I'm not without problems. But it could be so good! I'd put a lot of effort into it! I always have! But nope. I'm not going to get a job, I'm never going to be in another relationship, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with pets that, through their association with me, become as bizarre as I am. A quiet little freak show down a dirt road from the highway of life. My cat just now tried to lie down on top of my bigger monitor, and started to slide down because it's all tilted. He scooted back up, and now is perched, somewhat less comfortably, on the front edge. I sense that I could make a nice metaphor out of this, but I'm too lazy and not feeling sufficiently creative for it. I almost said pretensious, but that probably was just a spot rationalization for me not doing it.

So WHO ARE YOU? Are you Lorie? Martha? Dawon? Maybe Leon or Quealy? Some other people I don't even know? Do you ever call me? Do you know me? Do you *know* me? Hmm. No, that's a bad strain of thought to give the pen .. keyboard to. Maybe I'm trying to be angry, or something else. *shrug* I'll just try to be mostly bored. Anyhow, bye netdiary! I'm going to go to bed, maybe nap for an hour or two. If I'm feeling better, perhaps I'll go to Outland again tonight. If not, perhaps I'll just sleep until I'm not tired anymore. *PLONK*

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