I'm doing well at stuff at work. But it's tiring me out. I need to figure out a good way to take brief breaks at work. Maybe after every 3 hours, I'll take a brief walk to the nearby lake and sit there for awhile. Yes, sometimes I get really into something, and can focus on it indefinitely.. but sometimes I can't.
I've been thinking about my previous residence on northwood recently. I really regret leaving. It was such a nice place. Yeah, I like my current place, but I'm not happy about the heating bills, and I still long for the familiarity that this new place hasn't yet earned in my eyes. Plus, in the northwood place, there was a nice place I used to walk to in a lonely park nearby. There's nowhere to walk to on 16th.. the railroad one way, the local flavor of slum the other. I wonder how long it'll be before I start to feel more at home in this new place. It reminds me of a painful episode out of something I've been thinking about a bit again.. Martha. One of the things that was paining her was all the familiarity and intimacy that she had built up with Ryan.. I was comparitively very new. A few months versus years. Through analogy of home, I suppose I now understand. Although I like my new place, if I were offered the old, despite it being less nice, I would likely take it. Of course, houses arn't people -- nobody's heart would be broken by my moving.
Thinking of moving.. I guess I really appreciate now that I'm tied down here.. I can't move away, at least until my lease is done. In retrospect, it probably was unwise of me to go for a year and a half lease. I desired to settle down though, for awhile, and establish a true base.. something I could not have while still relying on my parents home as a permanent contact station. I'm having checks made for this location. Should I decide to change jobs in the future, it must be within the distance I'm willing to drive from where I live now.
Ahh.. money. Like a circle. I really wish I could ask for a raise. But now is a bad time for reasons I shouldn't put on here. I really hope though, that if THING I CAN'T TALK ABOUT then the time will be ripe and I'd be able to ask, or perhaps given without asking. I sometimes wonder how my boss manages to keep his life together. It really shoots a hole through the automatic tendency among some I have spoken with that businesses are all about screwing the workers. I truly don't understand how he does it, but it seems that my boss works over 60 hours a week. I can't really complain about the extra hour or so in every day I work after seeing that. Small companies really do seem to be very different than big companies. Or do I have too little data to make much of a conclusion?