Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn
dachte

A plank

This entry won't be very satisfying -- I'm dealing with something that I really can't talk about fully. Basically, there's something in my life that I have the opportunity to change, but I don't know if I want to. I'm ambivalent about the current status of that thing.. When should one reroll the dice in life? What should I expect? Will I lose a lot of what I am if I do this? I am afraid.. I might hate myself if I do this. I might always regret not doing this. It might not even happen if I want it to. If it doesn't, I will still feel the pain of deciding things need to change. Do I want that? There are at least two mes here, and here I am asked to choose to be one of them. I sometimes have really wanted to be in a life moment where I can actually steer without fighting the water.. Now I almost resent the choice.

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