In reflection on the last few days, I guess social ties reallydo matter to me. I don't miss *things* as much as I do *people*.Everyone I know, chosen or not, friend or not, is someone that is partof my life, and feeling those ties break hurts. When I am ancient,and the people I know in life are all distant or dead, the satisfactionsfrom my life will probably change what would be existential angst nowinto a certain kind of tiredness and readiness for oblivion. I haven'tfeared death for about three years. So, I imagine things as being kindof a reverse mahjongg -- placing pieces of a sucessful life in theright patterns to be happy and content until the end. Here are some of mypieces, exempting the ones that have not been revealed:
I hope to visit Pittsburgh, my likely future home, soon. It's odd --I think that lonliness and its opposite are major themes in my life.I hate people, but sometimes am surprised by them and really thinkthey're cool. I place myself above most people, and yet am very contentwith people I consider to be roughly equals. Are these part of a largerpattern, or am I seeing patterns that arn't real? Problems for scienceoften are also problems for the individual. Statistical significance withsmall data sets, interpretation, broken logic systems, etc.
Heh. An amusing phrase, "The Unix of Philosophies". A data point formy wonder about where to spend time in philosophy, on the edge ortrying to put things simply so the masses can grasp them.