February 16th, 2002


Curse this literal heart

I was just at Outland, as per my usual for friday nights.Unfortunately, my heart condition decided to act up during my favorite song of those they play there. And.. as usual for such things, it drained me of a lot of energy. This, combined with the most recent trip, made me almost unable to stand. I still find it exhausting to do so, despite having made it home. If my heart condition were a steak, this would be a 'medium rare' episode. If it had been even medium, I undoubtedly would've dropped to the floor, too tired to move. I seriously hate this week. The trip for work was frustrating, with lost luggage, malfunctioning drivers, and problems left by my predecessor... then problems with making my budget work.. philosophy was bogged down by someone who delights in word games and sloppy but rapidly generated thought as his argument style... and then my defective heart spoils what looked to be the one lengthy release. I believe I was in outland for about half an hour. I should still be there, dancing, and perhaps talking to people. Argh.

Damn. Now I'm too tired to get up. Will I sleep here? Will Imanage to drag myself to the bathtub for a long bath? Will Imanage to drag myself upstairs to my normal sleeping grounds?

On the upside, I got at least a slight upside born of a frustration. match.com's registration thing was messed up, and wouldn't let me pay. "the heart was willing, but the check was weak" :) Fortunately, someone else who dropped me a nice note but has incompatibilities with me dropped a note to the person I've been interested in, including my email address. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it's good news. I might subscribe anyhow if I don't hear back from her, once match.com gets their forms working again.

Ahh. That bath sounds nice. I've been meaning to add some new philosophical ideas I've been musing over, but I really don't think I'll manage to stay awake much longer.


Can't think

I hate this. Well, you know what? I'm writing thisentire journal with my eyes closed, leaning back. I'm verytired. If this texct wraps funny or I have weird typos or garbled text,that's why. I am at work. Despite having gitten a very large amount ofsleep last night, I still am exhausted. I've gotten almost nothing done today atwork because of it. I just can't concentrate on anything technical. I even get frustrated extraquickly. Hmm. That's odd. I just realized, despite not seeing any of this as I type, I still sometimes hit backspace when I'feel' that I've made a typo. I wonder if my typing patterns are that well understood by part of methat I actually regularly make and correct the same mistakes. Odd. Anyhow, I really can't think of anything more to say.I feel very 'hazy' on almost any topic. And I probably should actually just hop overto the couch for even more sleep. Well, I hope that this isn't just a mess of keyboard givverish -- perhaps I'm systematically missing certain keys or something.I'll have something more interesting to say in my next entry, once I'm feeling better. Hmm. Odd.. perhaps I even feel a strange type of obligation to write, even if I have nothing to say. I wonder if that's aproblem. Hmm.Sleep.Oh, and no news yet from that person I 'contacted' through match.com.I'm hoping for the best in that arena. Byebye