I really am writing this because it feels like it's been awhile since Ilast wrote something.
Jason is temporarily living with me, after which he'll be off to someother city. He sure has a lot of stuff. Fortunately, I did have a completelyempty room for him, and I have a lot of space in my basement. It's amusingthat I'm getting the huge safe back that transferred to him after I couldn'tmove it several moves ago. He also has significantly more energy than I doin satisfying his aesthetic sense -- I knew I wanted plants, and had severalother things that I was thinking about doing to make my place looknicer, but had delayed doing them, for no reason really, for a long time.Immediately after he moves in, there are plants everywhere, and thingsare rearranged a bit here and there, looking much nicer. I keep thinking"why didn't I do that"... He always did have a knack at that sort of thing.
I am bored at work. I wish I had more stuff there to engage my programmingside. In a way, this is a longer length replay of my job .. well, apprenticeshipin the Workstation Support Group. Boredom, trivial tasks, and people allaround me doing jobs that look more interesting. It's not really terrible --I'm not unhappy, and I do feel like I'm getting over something that isn'tquite abuse at the old job. Still, I don't think I can possibly get therespect I want in my current position. The problem really is that theperson up on the totem pole, the CTO, really knows his stuff, and has hishands in everything. I think that I envy him for his position, and I probablyfeel a bit threatened by his knowledge. On technical matters, he's probably theone person that I know right now that I'd be tempted to call my equal. I havetoo little data, but perhaps in some other intellectual areas as well. Wehave similarities in several aspects, and I really am not used to having realcompetition in the areas where I excel. It's a bit emotionally difficult forme to deal with actually being in contact with someone I consider a technicalequal, much less being both under them and restricted in duty to part of myabilities. I like programming. I like being considered the one who knows stuff.I like keeping systems healthy and happy. This is pretty strange for me.I suppose I consider it a free lesson in humility that I'm getting.Still, I suppose in the limited capacity I'm being used in, I'm doing okay.I will just need to learn to stifle my competitive urges. I had this inthe UTS Support Center job too -- I was considered to be the most technicallyadept person there, but also to be arrogant and probably overly competitive.
Recently, for the first time ever, I've been having trouble breathing. It'snot a huge problem -- breathing is just a little more difficult.. but I'myawning a *LOT*, and it's getting irritating. I hope it's just allergies.
I recently joined two mailing lists. I was invited to join somethingcalled mentalfloss2 after someone there happened on my webpage andinvited me. I also joined a transhumanist mailing list. First, onthe transhumanist mailing list, someone joined and spouted someconservative racist crap. They were kicked off that list, but not beforea discussion on the limits of tolerance (that reminded me of the speechI gave semi-recently on the topic). Then, just tonight, that same personposted the same thing to mentalfloss2. This time, I wrote a nice longreply attacking his position. Well, it wasn't exactly his -- it was anessay that was written, I believe, by someone else. I really don't understandthat mentality -- is this something that people really think will beeffective? Jumping from mailing list to mailing list posting the samething that one doesn't even write -- it seems like a kind of odd andlonely existence. I really wonder about the psychology behind it.I think he hopes he can catch more people who listen more to theemotional appeal of his paper than the logic. It's very easy to beseduced by someone telling you what you want to hear, and people areoften very forgiving to faults in arguments that tell them what theywant to hear. It's probably a dilemma that people often come across --what is to be done with people that share your conclusions, but forthe wrong reasons.. Do you value the cause more than you valueproper thought (or whatever else might be at stake..).
I'd write more, but I'm actually getting visual artifacts in my visionfrom being so sleepy. Those shelter volunteer days can actually takeenough out of me that I'm still tired later in the week. I need tospace them better. SFF had a fun water balloon/squirt gun timetoday that I went to. I had another heart episode during it. Thatactually might be another reason I'm so incredibly tired -- it takesa lot out of me. Hehe.. I'm on Frank (my laptop)... Push the button, Frank...