May 24th, 2003


sleep (Segmentation violation - core dumped)

I can't sleep. I know why.Earlier today, I had a small lunch. A *VERY* small lunch. It wasa frozen burrito I brought from home. No surprise, I was hungry by 2, andby the time I was heading home by 4, I was really really hungry, and alsoa bit lightheaded and woozy. So, on the way home I stopped by the bagelplace and grabbed a bagel, hoping it would revive me. It made me feelbetter, but I still was exhausted, so after getting in home, I strippedand snoozed. I got about 2 hours of sleep, and then went to the coffeeshop.It was rather quiet, and I was there from about 7 to 11. I did take abrief walk up and down Forbes before I went in, to refamiliarize myselfwith the shops on the street.. and because I felt like it. I finished abook I started rereading earlier today, and headed home, but although I'mexhausted, I'm not exactly sleepy in the right way. I'd love to sleep, andI'm certainly going to give it my best shot after I finish writing this..All this caused by a too-small meal. Recently, I've been writing shortstories along with my philosophy, in the notebooks while at the coffeeshop.I don't really know why. As a matter of fact, really, any kind ofcreativity right now seems to me to be impossible.. but then again, I amreally pretty fried through lack of sleep. Anyhow, I've been havingdisturbing dreams about being strangled recently. It's not by any particularperson, it's just long skinny arms, reaching around corners or under tables,and from where they come I know that there's either no way a person could bethere, or that the arms are impossibly long. And, oddly, the strangling doesn'tseem to be that scary, and it's not painful. In the dreams I'm just kind ofstoic about it. Yup, I'm being strangled. Ok. How's the weather?

I guess it's better than the weird geometic dream.

There's a fair chance I'll decide to visit cowtown tomorrow. It alldepends on if my new landlord calls me back, who I can arrange tosee (like to visit Dawon, Amanda, Lorie, Aug, and Dubin, at least. Leon wouldbe fun too, and my sisters). Hell, maybe if I can find suitable attire,I'd even go to outland. I miss that place.. Oh.. there's some CMU-recognizedholiday next monday, so it's a 3-day weekend. Woot.

I wonder if I'll really end up going. Hmm.Anyhow, gonna make another try for sleep.

(Postnote I seem to have forgotten the article that I found funnythat prompted me to write. It's here. I wonder what kind I'll be..


Rebuilding, US Peace, moo

On recent events...The U.S. has had the U.N. agree to lift sanctions on Iraq, andput the U.S. in charge of the oilfields. I've been thinking --apart from in communal societies, somebody's going to end upowning the oil. I wonder what difference it'd make, some Iraqiowner or some American owner.. except .. maybe the Iraqi statemanaged it before. Hmm. I'm really just mumbling out loud here.

It seems that a lot of my liberal friends, from SFF or not, aresocialist. However, the term has become a dirty word in America,for far longer than liberal has been one. Anyhow, they might be ableto argue that oil rights are an especially good example of whenproperty rights are arbitrary. I think that people are definitelyentitled to rise above the masses on their own effort. As for if theycan bring their descendants with them, and how easy that should be,I think it can be pretty messy.

Sharon has accepted, with some reservations, the U.S. peace plan forIsrael/Palestine, and is going to be doing political wrangling withthe Knesset. More interesting, perhaps, is what Abbas has to do --bring the Palestinians under control. The Palestinians are stillunder that old dilemma -- IMO, they SHOULD keep attacking thesettlers, or at least the adults there, as they're knowingly attemptingto steal more land.. so long as they're thinking that peace isn't goingto come in the short run. If the Israelis are serious about peace, andthey have no idea how to tell (given the fluid nature of politics,I doubt the Israelis could know either), then it would probably be bestto go for peace, with the expectations of the settlers being carted offto prison, or at least off Palestinian land. Of course, Israeli societyis divided over the settlers. I wish they would solidify on the positionthat they've made their own bed, that they should lie in it, and thatit should be no concern of the government if they were all shoved out ofthe territories, or indeed just killed, for what they're doing, by thePalestinians. Given that, the Palestinians could get a bit of what theywant, the Hebrews could say "Not my concern", and hopefully Hamas canbe deflated a little bit. In the end, building towards peace is what needsto be the goal, not historical Palestine nor a homeland where Hebrewsget special consideration. While Iraq MAY have been a poison of thebody of world peace, Israel/Palestine is DEFINITELY a poison of the mindof world peace. It would have better if the land had just been cleared ofpeople and nuked into a glowing crater decades ago, with a "New Israel"placed elsewhere, but the next best thing is to do whatever needs tohappen to calm this plate boundary between central Eurasia and the west.Die, Zionism. Die, Palestinian nationalism. Peace, at any cost.

Late at night on TV, I heard a debate about foreign policy while I wasprogramming. One person asked "Why do you care about Israel/Palestine so much? Doyou care about $SITUATION_Y?" Answer: Yes. It's just that Israel/Palestine getsso much coverage, and it's so very interesting, that $SITUATION_Y, for whatevervalue that has, generally is going to be less interesting. There are currently5 conflicts that really hold my interest in world politics right now:

  • Israel/Palestine issues, as it juxtaposes issues of religion, incredibly powerful racism on both sides, and war that fuels tons of conflict elsewhere
  • China/Taiwan issues, as it's about interesting issues of sovereignty, global politics, and economy. China would flatten Taiwan with nukes if it could get away with it, I think. Taiwanese politics dance around this fact, with politicians varying widely on how provocative to be towards China, and whether independence should be declared
  • India/Pakistan issues - Islam versus Hinduism, terrorism and provocation.
  • The Kurds vs the World - In some ways, the Kurds are where the Jews were for a long time. It's even more interesting though, as the Kurds are Muslim, just like their opponents, so it's a struggle for ethnic identity and race within Islam.
  • Ulster and Ireland - Nationalism versus ethnic identity, with some religion tossed in.

All of those admit no easy solution. Israel/Palestine just happens to getthe most news coverage around here, and probably has the biggest worldramifications. Although it's not as international, Irani politics are alsointeresting.

Impromptu poetry can be fun. Here's something I came up with, promptedby a friend on AIM:

(cue guitar)
Let me write you a story, a tale for them all
a song o' my heart condition that makes me fall
though the pain it does cause me is fleeting and small
if I need it I use my pills atenolol

All because he wanted me to find a way to rhyme with atenolol,and then to incorporate that into stanza. Heh.

Anyhow, let's end this with more lyrics snippets. Psychopharmacology, byFirewater.

The endless shrink parade
The nights that never cease
And all you want is peace
But all you get is pills
And still they tell you

Psychopharmacology is gonna set you straight
When you can`t get out of bed and you`re so tired of pretending
Psychopharmacology is gonna save your soul
Cause God is great and God is good but he`s also made of wood
Believe in psychopharmacology

Oddly, there's only one place I could find the lyrics to that songon the net, and they were incorrect there. Niiiice.

I doubt I'll actually going to cowtown this weekend -- my friend Jeffwill be out of town, and Dawon hasn't called me back. I was reallyhoping to see everyone, or nearly everyone. Maybe next weekend.How will I fill today? More website work, more packing, and probablya trip to a museum or a park, and then to a coffeeshop or bookstore.

I'm worried that one of my friends who I've been chatting with onlinerecently might be starting a slide towards mental illness. :(


New mix

Burned a CD with a nice mix of music. Had to do some new rips ofsome of the source material to get better quality audio.. Happy.

  1. Firewater - Psychopharmacology
  2. Firewater - So Long Superman
  3. Firewater - Whistlin in the Dark
  4. Chicago - Both Reached for the Gun
  5. Russian Red Army Choir - Ochi Cherniye
  6. Sinai Klezmer Band - Leena from Palesteena
  7. Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
  8. Danny Elfman - Beetlejuice Theme
  9. Foremen - Ain't No Liberal
  10. Fiddler on the Roof - Sunrise, Sunset
  11. They Might Be Giants - Dr Worm
  12. They Might Be Giants - Cyclops Rock
  13. Watershed - Black Concert T-shirt
  14. And One - Panzer Mensch
  15. Avril Lavigne - Things I'll Never Say
  16. David Bowie - Starman
  17. Marshall Mathers - Square Dance
  18. Splean - No Escape
  19. Electric Light Orchestra - Mr. Blue Sky

I figure I might as well deal with needing to make Redbook CDs until Iget a proper CD player, or a nicer MP3 player than my old RIO. I'm veryvery lucky that all that fit onto my CD. My burner complained whilefixating that it didn't work, but all the CD players I have seem to behappy about the CD, so...

74:17.52 of music. Time to go back outside :)

Also, might mail an apology that's been waiting for months for delivery.Moof.