February 20th, 2005


Particle Composition

Last night I watched "Trembling Before G-d", a documentary on people whoare struggling to reconcile Orthodoxy and homosexuality. It started outa bit slow, and while I was interested, I was thinking of only watchinghalf of it tonight, but its style and content eventually pulled me in. Itpresented a lot of perspectives, and showed a lot of conversations that Ithought people wouldn't be keen on having recorded. One of the things thatleft an impression on me was one particular argument about there not beingan incompatibility -- the notion that the conenant the hebrew people havewith yahweh being one that is always open to amendment and convincing, basedon a few examples in the Torah. Interesting argument, yes, although it perhapsposes a lot of questions therein. And of course this is all theoreticalphilosophy of a sort into which I don't particularly care to delve. WouldPoseidon allow us to pollute the seas if we sacrificed enough in his temple?

I'm working on the cleaning-the-inbox kind of thing, and as of this time amdown to 7478 messages in there. My strategy rotates between a few things --if I think of a category of things that can be mass-deleted or mass-moved,I grep for them and handle them. I also sometimes start from the start, lista few articles, and move them all where they need to go, sometimes savinga few for later thought. Today, I came across a really old email talking abouta commune that was being set up in Columbus, and it brought back a sharp pangof a really old jealousy that I was feeling at the time I originally read themail. At the time, Martha was dating .. actually, I don't remember, andmy friend Jason (or was it Aug?) mentioned that Marf and her friend were goingto be deeply involved in the commune. I was still heartbroken about Martha atthe time, and each time I read about the commune, it brought a sharp pang ofthat. It's strange that I can still feel that, although I guess remnants offirst love never completely go away. Of course, having just lost a relationshipthat was important to me, I'm probably more vulnerable to that kind of thingthan normal.

I've lost some weight with all this stress -- down to 150 pounds. It doesn'tseem to change how my clothes fit though. I wonder if the scale I have hereis functioning properly.