Some time ago, J mentioned something about the way he once was before he met R. I realise now that I'm the same way, I just express it differently. It's probably not a good thing, but such is life.
Tonight I went to Ceremony again, and danced for a bit, and stood around for a bit longer. I think I need to find people to go with. Fortunately, there's a girl I have a bit of a crush on who saw my away message and noted that she sometimes goes. I'll see if I can get her to come along next weekend. It is nice that the dancing ends up being a decent workout (not to mention hoofing it there from my apartment while wearing big boots). I recharged with a meal at Eat'n'Park afterwards, reading the collection of Lovecraft stories I picked up recently. On the walk back to my apartment from there, I thought about how what I had just read made the shadows darker and more interesting. I'm not frightened by Lovecraft, as to me they're not so much horror or even good writing so much as they are collections of interesting ideas to daydream about. The particular edition I'm reading mentions an old debate from when Lovecraft was alive within the literary community on the quality of his works, coming down clearly on the side that Lovecraft was a great author. I disagree there -- Lovecraft's ability to build a story is actually poor, his style blunt, his revealment of unfolding events as subtle as a mallet. The things that make Lovecraft worth reading are not these things, but rather the ideas and rough events present. What a friend recently mentioned about Lucas and Starwars also applies to Lovecraft -- he's great at making the mythos and perhaps sketching the arc of the story, but when he gets involved in the actual fine details, he's not that great and the job is better handled elsewhere.
Right now, I'm playing on the computer, with one of my cats, T, snuggled up against one of my arms, asleep. The other cat is nearby, curled up against the wall but shifting positions every 10 minutes or so. A moment ago, she lifted her head and looked at me for a few minutes before closing her eyes and going back to sleep. Something felt good about that. At this precise moment, "Wig in a Box", one of my favourite songs from Hedwig, is playing. It is strange feeling T do his sleep twitches in his legs, as right now they're transmitted directly to my arm.
I am irritated that now it seems like Nicole has found something to regularly do on my block, as now it seems like she's regularly parking near my apartment. This is extremely irritating. I wonder if this is part of a larger pattern -- if my next relationship isn't one that lasts my whole life, I wonder if said person will proceed, after things end, to regularly be invisibly right near me. I was unhappy for much of the time it happened last time (although near the end it stopped being a burden as animosity and pain faded). I don't see why it's happening again, especially given that N lives completely on the other side of town. Sigh.