April 8th, 2006

Semiformalishmaybe

An Aged Chameleon

"The reason, my dear boy, that your train will never come in is that you keep derailing it"..

I don't think I actually like my new haircut. I feel that society at large seems to like me better with short hair, but I don't like my appearance as much with it. I should've gone down to maybe 2 1/2 inches instead of 1 1/2 inches. Oh well.

I am both dreading and excited by apartment search. I wonder if I can get a place that's cheaper in SqHill (smaller is definitely ok, because I almost never have anyone over, and have way too much space). It's interesting to think that, just as I don't have a solid reason to be in Pittsburgh, my reason to live in this area of SqHill is also long dissolved. Inertia and distraction have kept me here until now. I think that I might like to live .. near .. some other people. Not with, but nearby, so I can still have my own apartment (I'm pretty territorial and needing of solitude, hence living alone or with gf if I get another) and still moderately frequently hang out with others without difficulty. I remember in Columbus living across the street from (and eventually in a 4-floor duplex with) my friend JasonM. It was very cool having my closest friend always pretty nearby. I am not presently quite as close to anyone as a friend as I was to him then, but it was great always having someone to go randomly grab food with at any time of night or have a political/philosophical/whatever discussion. I .. hmm.. that's something I miss. We all have different kinds of friends that fill different social needs we have, with different sides of ourselves visible to each friend. I have a small number of good friends in Pittsburgh, but I've been missing having certain kinds of friendships for quite some time. When I've had a gf, these needs have generally been less problematic, because everyone I've dated has been incredibly intelligent, by and large entertaining a decent subset of my intellectual explorations and contributing their own. I don't think I've really felt that any of the people I know/am close to are the sort that I want my friendship with them to go deeply in those directions. And then there's some people who might be interesting in that light, but by and large they're not quite *there* yet, many distracted by the toy doctrines of Libertarianism. I once thought yet another group might be interesting in that light, but they're stuck in "can't we all just get along" and other fashionable nonsense. Dubin, JasonM, there are times when I really wish you were here. Sigh. All this is not meant to look down on my current friends, whose friendships are shaped in other important, good ways. Back to apartments, if anyone sees anyplace possibly suitable, let me know, especially if it's near one of you.

So, a reverse timeline of today:Collapse )