Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

I fed a bird (and other short stories)

Today, for lunch, I got my usual from Srees. I ate it outside, sittingon the grass near the Cut. As I ate, two small birds came over to me.I tossed them some carrots, but they didn't seem interested. I then noticedthat one of them was eating some rice that had blown out of my plate. Iscooped some onto my fork, and held it out. The little guy actually ate itright off my fork. I grabbed some more, and fed him three times before heflew off.

CNN had a story about changes to the "Head Start" program, which, IIRC, isa program to put poor kids through free preschool. Apparently, BushJr is tryingto push through some changes that would both increase state control, andlegalize the refusal to hire people of religions which might interfere withthe 'goal of the program'. Both of these are, from my point of view, badthings. In general, I think that increased state powers are a bad thing --too often, as is illustrated by Texas, it acts as a way for states toallow local stupidity to reign, free of the somewhat greater sensibility ofthe nation. Should states still exist? I don't know -- I don't see much usefor them. If any of you out there want to send me passionate (or otherwise)arguments for the existence of states, feel free. Maybe it's a shortage ofimagination, but I just can't see anyone but people trying to live in thepast having 'good' arguments for states rights. I'm especially pissed atBushJr (pretzels be unto him) for being so successful at pushing religionfurther into government.

Sharon's dismantling settlements. Cool. I don't know why he's doing it --maybe the dangling carrot, maybe an actual desire for resolution.. People canhave a change of heart, over time. Maybe that's what we're seeing.If he and Abbas can manage to build a successful agreement, I'd be surprised,but pleasantly so, and I'm beginning to think that I might someday respectthe man, despite his bloody past.

BushJr (pretzels be unto him) continues to screw up on Iran, while he andBlair do their best to prevent investigations into their handling ofinformation (or lack thereof) about weapons programmes in Iraq. He's alsorewriting EPA reports to remove talk of global warming and climate damage.

On Tuesday, Philosophy group had a discussion on materialism and bioethics.On Wednesday, Zets (all 5 of us that showed up) talked a bit about politics,and a bit about everything else, for hours. As a bonus, because the meetingwas on Darlington Road, where there's some construction going on, we got tosee cars driving the wrong way down a one way road (about 3/4 of them turnedaround pretty fast, the others kept going). It was quite amusing. I went withNicole to grab some food, and got some tasty spring rolls. I also foundthat Vice happens to have musical tastes and knowledge of groups/songs that,on first glance, appears to be very similar to mine.

Last night, I delivered the things I needed to get back to Debb to herdoorstep, or as close as I could get considering I no longer have keys toher building. I was nervous as I approached, and light in my step whenreturning. I don't know if that means anything. It probably didn't helpthat I thought I saw her car driving around where mine was parked onDarlington a few times earlier that night, but maybe it didn't hurt. Ialso noticed recently that one of the two people I'm interested in has avoice and style of speaking that's similar to what I remember of Martha's.Yup, yet another oddity that I just don't know what to think of. Oh, yes,two songs I've been listening to recently... Oingo Boingo's"It Only Makes Me Laugh" and Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Walk On the Ocean".

I notice, visiting Toad's site, that they appear to be a dead group. I feela bit odd about that, like visiting a grave a bit too late. They would'vestill been dead if I had listened to them all this time, but in that one-wayfashion that's always there in consumerism, they would've been part of mylife, and I wouldn't be coming back to find them now, like a dead flowerin a forgotten garden. It reminds me a bit of, two visits to home ago,when I stopped by the Tanager Trail house I lived in back then. Thingschange, and it makes the heart ache when things that are important to onechange without one. It is a very Buddhist pain, impermanence, or at leasta pain they recognize well, and say it must be overcome. Yet, somehow Ithink this thing, whether it's a flaw or not being something I've decided,is irresistable, and the pain it brings is one I cannot deny withoutgiving up who I am.

And then the mind, free to take the forms it wanted without maintaining themin a space, split into subpersonalities. There were about 15 of them,initially all close variants of him, with different clothing and expressionson their faces, and then a few began to take the shape and manner of peoplewho, in his mind, represented those personalities to him. The whole lookedupon the selves, the pantheon of his mind, and nodded. Their argumentsmirrored, or perhaps decided, maybe there's no distinction, the path thewhole takes, the dissenting voices being the doubts. How interesting,to close one's eyes, on a whim, and open them as someone anew. A shadow,or a representation, is not the real thing, but it's its own thing, andthere's no shame in a strong resemblance. Icons, Masks, and Campbell.

Closing my eyes.

Tags: israel, music, philosophy

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