I'm still not feeling very happy. I guess it's to be expected. Part of methinks that it was worth putting up with the poor treatment, the issues,and what wasn't there, just to be with her. I do love her, after all, andshouldn't that have been enough? But no, Pat, while she cared about you too,she still treated you that way, and she never put the effort in to fix things.You were walking on eggshells while she swung the sledgehammer around. Anger..Sadness.. relationships can't work when they're one-sided. I really don'tunderstand why it's said to be easier to be the one to break things off,rather than the other -- it hurts just the same. I'm trying to force myselfout of this period of mourning, to move from the web of Atropos to Clotho,but I must pass Janus, who knows my soul too well to be fooled. I might as wellat least try to remove my cloak, as a matter of habit.
Monday sucked, in that I left work to drive my car to Fnord, and they couldn'tfigure out what was wrong with it. I braved the bus system back, which resultedin my getting deep in Shadyside (deeper than I've been before on foot) aroundmidnight. As a slight upside, I ran up Negley Hill, my old nemesis, on the wayback into Squirrel Hill. Fun. Then, on Tuesday, due to a mixup with some CDsmy group was borrowing, I spent the entire day copying CDs, jumping between 5computers in my office swapping them. I finished around 17:3, and then tookthe bus *sigh* back to Monroeville to get my car back. Turns out they shorteda wire while fixing it last time, and I get to pay for them to have found andfixed the problem. Joy. On the way, I did have the interesting experience ofvisiting the Wilkinsburgh Bus Station, which is a surreal place. It's a waysdown a bus-only road with not much pedestrian access, and it was psychologicallyjarring to be in such a place.
Anyhow, after I made it back yesterday, I swung by Srees to grab dinner, wentto the Tree, and met up with a friend from work and his S.O., who I was goingto meet under different circumstances if things had worked out with Debb, andwe talked for awhile. He later ended up stopping by my place to see my library,before I gave him a ride home.
I got an email from my Russian Professor-to-be about my first homework, andI just can't help but be excited -- I'm really going to learn (a bit of)Russian. Hurrah!
My Plaid Tongued Devils CD arrived yesterday, and I think I really like allbut two songs on the album. It has 15 songs, so that's really amazing, as Iusually only am really into, at most, 3 or 4 songs on an album. This means that,officially, Plaid Tongued Devils is my favourite music group -- even Firewaterand Bad Religion, the other two contenders, don't have this high a 'hit' rate.In celebration, I ordered the only Plaid Tongued Devils CD I don't have yet.I still need to be careful with money -- while I'm destined soon for financialhealth, I'm not out of the woods yet, and I still do want to start saving fora house.
Impressions...Old Men, friendly, bemused that they're still ticking...Shar'ia .. is it really as regressive as we'd think it to be? In some ways, it might be morally preferable to lassiez-faire capitalism.. need to learn more...People often appreciate Microsoft Windows most for the really irritating things it does, usually behind the user's back.Busy Wait, spinlocks in real life, copying CDs.. except it's not really a fully busy wait, in that it is event-spurred, it's just spending an awfully large amount of time in the event handlers. A discarded notion of attention compared...I need to rework my BLOG software, doing cleanups and enabling non-login requiring comments. I'd love to actually convert it to be as capable in the general sense, perhaps moreso, than Livejournal. I'd just need some time to do that kind of thing. If anyone would be willing to pay me money to do so, and would be comfortable with the result being open-source (I'm talking about a software bounty here), I'd be willing to put it first on my queue of things to do, and go the extra steps beyond what I need to have a single-BLOG site. I might get to it eventually, but if anyone wants it now, I can do...Summoning water spirits in the shower.. placing one's arms so water flows down them, and outwards from spread fingers in streams.. How many people do it? How many people don't talk about it because it's a quiet moment.. not with nature, no, not even with nature, but with physicsConversations with electric drills.. she listens, it talks, it speaks of things long forgottenThe world is still disgustingly violent. Beheadings on TV in Iraq, Palestinian militants are dragging the guts of some Israeli police they killed all over the place, and the Israeli military is, in return, destroying more homes of likely unrelated Palestinian civilians. The Christians are doing so much better.. Christianity may be pacifist, but only after it's already won. When faced with non-abrahamic religions, it's just as primitive as ever..
I hope to do some more rock climbing soon... problem is, one of my normalclimbing partners is busy with night classes, the other has an injured shoulder.Damn. At least I can look forward to a trip to Cowtown this weekend. Outland,here I come! It's time to dance The Time Warp .. ermm.. no, time to dancePanzer Mensch again. And, for now, it's time to go grab lunch. India Gardensounds good.