Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn
dachte

Sea of Eyes

A yellow haze.. a lone eyeball floats in the water, a mind somehow fits inside..all it experiences is the endless bobbing and the haze.. cannot blot the sight,no eyelids. It worries that it has gone insane, as the world continues tobob and splash around it... meanwhile, the fish continue to nibble on itsoptic nerve beneath the water..

I setup my new shredder yesterday, and finally started shredding my sensitivejunkmail (how funny we live in such a world).. it's a lot of fun, enough thatI started shredding nonsensitive junkmail. There's something nice aboutseeing the thin strips of paper coming out the bottom..

I think I'm starting to enjoy getting rid of the extra energy I sometimes haveby bike rides or short runs. It's not often that I have enough energy that Iwant to do this, but it's a new phonomenon that's slowly increasing inregularity. Yesterday evening I went running for about 40 minutes, and it wasnice. The soreness will probably last me about 4 days if past experiences areany indicator, although I'll probably be ok to rock climb again by Sundayif I get back in time. I wonder if my body will eventually decide that I'mgetting enough exercise as things are now, or if I'm going to want more. I'mprobably going to want a new pair of shoes soon -- my current ones feel kindof flat.

After the run, I went to the philosophy discussion group that's forming at CMU,and we talked about disenfranchisement and capitalism. There was a Libertarianthere, and so the conversation was interesting. Having been something reallygives one good insight into how to argue effectively against it. Free-markettypes can generally be pushed to understand when government needs to step into protect non-market values, although they tend to have the form of thatintervention take place in form of a market. Developing arguments against thatdevelopment is very interesting. We also talked about ways to make the systemsuck less. I really love political philosophy... and I do find myself wonderingif I'm becoming a full-fledged socialist. Hmm...

After I got back home, a ways past midnight, it started to rain really heavily,with thunder and lightning. I was too sleepy to go out and play in the rain,although it was very tempting. Something about the rhythm and lights in athunderstorm is very appealing to me... Makes me feel very alive. I dozed offin the living room with the windows wide open, so I at least got as muchof the wonderful weather and sounds as I could given my tiredness.

This weekend is Marf's wedding. I'm going to need to get the gift ASAP to thewedding, so I'll probably get it tomorrow. Hmm.. I've been thinking about thewedding, and truth be told, I'm kinda jealous. Not of her or him specifically,but just in general that peers seem to be doing well in relationships,engaged, married, or at least in long-term mutually loving relationships. Theirlife has what I want so much.. and as I keep getting older, my chances offinding someone before I'm too old to enjoy sharing my youth with go down. Ireally want to at least know of someone for awhile before I start to date them,and I'm so picky. An old face is something that's supposed to be beautifulby accustomment, not in itself. I suspect that if I haven't met someone by 30,I'll be very unlikely to be attracted to anyone at all at a compatible age. Iwonder if I will spend most of the rest of my life alone. It might be temptingto be less picky, but I don't think I can really do that. I know the roughparameters of what I want. And, na klar, as people get older, the peoplecapable of good relationships get weeded out, and so the signal-to-noise ratio,that is, the sane, cute, really smart people who arn't unsuitable for somereason mostly end up getting married, leaving a higher proportion of theother folk.. dating is thus harder for older people. I really thought Debb wasthe one for me. I'm still stunned at how things worked out.. sad.. I think Iprobably did the right thing -- when someone can't even be civil and isn'twilling to work to fix things, what can you do? .. but .. it's still hard forme to reconcile all my emotions. And now.. to go see my first ex-gf getmarried.. and seeing all the other couples there... Oy...

New photos from IraqOblique BeggingLest anyone think that only artsy folk do Film Festivals..What a fun language

No Russian class today... I'm not sure if I'll hang out in Squirrel Hill fora bit before I head to Brecksville, or head right off... I hate driving in thedaylight, but OTOH I can visit more with people if I leave earlier. I reallythink I need to take a weekend completely off sometime, not going anywhereand not doing anything more complex than the rock climbing on Sunday. I wantto finish cleaning my apartment, rearrange my apartment a bit more, sleep a LOT,and otherwise do very little.

Finally, at work, I made a breakthrough and got matlab talking to code livingin shared objects. It turns out that the existing documentation is reallyterrible on the web -- some describe nonportable ways of doing things, othersappear to poke at functions that don't actually work on my platform, and infact look to be bugs in the packaging of my Matlab. The original, simple, butnot-very-portable interface that I originally had tried really hard to avoidactually looks like it's the best way to go -- I'll just have a single-functioninterface to matlab that calls C code that does dlopen()/dlsym()/dlclose()as needed. Because it's been awhile since I've used that interface, I createdsome new demos to make sure I get it right. In case you're interested, here'sa simple example of how to use dlopen and friends on Unix..

file 1 LINK:

  1. include <stdio.h>
void hi(int input){printf("Hello, world, you said %d\n", input);}

to compile:gcc -shared -nostdlib hi.c -o hi.so

file 2 LINK:

  1. include "stdio.h"
  2. include <dlfcn.h>
int main(void){void* libhdl;void (*myfunction)(int);libhdl = dlopen("/home/pgunn/matlabi/hi.so", RTLD_NOW);if(libhdl == NULL)
{printf("Failed to dlopen: %s\n", dlerror());return 1;}
myfunction = dlsym(libhdl, "hi");(*myfunction)(4);dlclose(libhdl);return 0;}

to compile:gcc -ldl hello.c -o hello

It's not bad, until we start messing it up with #ifdef and similar to do thesame thing on Windows, and adding another platform unfortunately means thatthis code may need to be touched. Oh well, at least I'm moving forward again --the rest of the code should fall into place pretty quickly.

Tags: programming
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