Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Be Still, my Aching Heart

Capture the Flag with Stuff was pretty decent - since leaving KGB, my loneliness has simplified, in that it changed from feeling alone/ignored in a crowd to simply feeling generally alone. CtFwS wasn't so bad in that aspect - I didn't feel very left out, although I still felt miles distant from everyone there. Unfortunately, my heart betrayed me, in that I had one of the rare longer and moderately bad heart episodes a little way through the first game, requiring me to sit out almost that whole game. Unusually, I lost most of my hearing during the episode, but kept everything else but my balance -- normally I lose everything else before hearing for the really bad episodes. Fortunately, as usual, once the episode was over, things became better pretty quickly (although I was exhausted). There are times when I regret not having gotten the surgery.. The second game went better for me, after which I went home.

There are a number of things I theoretically could be doing tomorrow - apart from a party I wasn't invited to (and thus should probably not attend), there's a housewarming for a coworker, a mini-protest at the military recruitment centre in Oakland (11:-13:, for the interested), further cleaning of my apartment, making the tool used to make rings so I can continue chainmail as a hobby after Lizza's class ends, taking a nice walk in Schenley or Frick, and some programming I've been meaning to get done. I should also consider spending more time on work stuff - I learned today, to my disappointment, that a piece of software I was using in brain analysis silently failed to warp ANY of my subject brains to the reference brain, meaning the analysis I've acquired and talked about with other people in my group was .. less meaningful than it should be. On the upside, I know how to redo the warping for all the subjects so that it will (probably) work. On the downside, it will take a lot of time to do that, and then redo all the analyses since.

I'm still seriously thinking about the Heidelberg thing - it's not exactly the kind of job I would be looking for were I ready to move to Europe, being probably not as Unix-centric as I'd like nor with any IT component. I also don't know if Germany is right long-term for me, because if I move to Europe, I would probably want to move where I'd want to stay and get citizenship (French, Dutch, or British citizenship appeal more to me than German citizenship, as I think I'd like to settle in one of those countries). That said, it is an interesting possibility, and I've heard nothing but good things about the city and university. One thing that I didn't think would enter into this is that my research group here needs me. I would be very hard to replace, and I am working with a well-known and respected professor in his field doing research that is pushing frontiers. I'd feel kind of selfish leaving that, although I know I don't want to stay here forever. Am I really ready to close the door on everyhing I've come to know in Pittsburgh? Maybe.

Poll/info on Ceilidh 2006 will be posted soon.


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