The finger moved gently over the surface of the brain, feeling the lifewithin. The sulci, the lobes whispered secrets as loudly as they couldto the questing hands.
I was in a lab meeting today, and noticed how everyone always sits in thesame seat at almost every meeting. When I was younger, I recall in theclassroom how I wanted to sit in a different seat every day, and the teacherswould usually give assigned seating. Now that I'm older, I seem to settle intothe same seat every day without prompting.
A philosophy group I'm in is discussing the nature of evil on its mailinglist. I'm not sure I'm enough on the same wavelength as them for it to be agood discussion for me -- I asked, without a satisfactory answer, if theysee it more as an existing phonomena that we're trying to categorize/encapsulatewith a definition, or more of a synthesis of human needs and convenience. To me,evil and good are more of the second -- it's a shorthand for things that goagainst one's personal values, and an archaic word that's effective mostly inpropoganda. Sure, religious folk love to say "Ahh, but isn't slaughtering randomfolk evil?", with the intent of making people feel like a schmuck not sayingyes. The right answer is that it goes against my values, and againsta lot of peoples values to the extent that we're disgusted by it and most of uswill use force to stop such things. To pretend to universalize it is justemotional thinking. Unfortunately, for me arguing the specifics of a term thatI think of that way becomes uninteresting and an exercise in futility,especially when, from my perspective, they fail to understand what they'rereally talking about and hoping for a consensus that won't ever materialize.
I'm also still lonely, depressed, and emotionally messed up. I've been temptedto go in directions that would surely lead to trouble, or other directions thatwould likely lead to trouble. I'm sure things will stabilize soon.Fortunately, there are things at work to distract me -- I recently found outthat three of the 22 subjects in my current study may have had their brain scansnot lined up right, which may explain the poor (read: small) results in theanalysis. I'm looking further into it.