Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Oh Ye of Too Much Faith

I'm beginning to think that Qatar isn't going to happen -- I haven't heardback from HR, and have called and emailed them a few times. If it doesn't, it'sno big deal, because I am pretty happy here, and don't particularly want tolose the cool job I have now. One of the things that lets me know that a job is working well is that I feel needed, like I'm doing things for them that they likely would not be able to get from generic people in the job. I feel that's the case here -- a good sysadmin/programmer would not likely take university pay and work in psychology without a strong personal interest in the field. I also like being challenged and learning new things, and I think I'm really getting that with the researcher side of my job. Granted, it's an odd mix to be wearing the hats that I do, and sometimes leaves me with less time than I'd like to handle the systems, but all in all, it's probably the best fit, jobwise, that I've ever had. Qatar would be an adventure, and if they paid me enough I'd certainly do it, but, even moreso than GoAntiques, I am happy here, jobwise. When I'm completely sure that Qatar won't happen, I'll sign up for classes again.

There's something wonderful about waking up and seeing a cat completely stretched out on a couch, upside down, asleep. I've had that pleasure for the last fewdays in a row.

A pair of friends has loaned me a large number of CDs. New music is a good thing. It's also wonderful when one finds others with whom there happens to be a very large number of common interests. That's one of the things friendships are based on. I think I'm going to use the Wiki, at least partly, to store a lot of philosophy.

I'm beginning to think that Tuesday or Thursday will become my new regular climbing night. Neither of them are great days -- as I mentioned in earlier entries, I need days to decompress alone a few days a week, and with Mondays and Wednesdays already having social activities scheduled, it'd be nice to have Tuesdays and Thursdays both to recover. Nicole thought it was stupid that I have these needs, but I am what I am, and from what I understand from semirecent conversationswith family, there is something like this on both sides of the tree, and the affected people simply take time when they need. Fighting my nature won't make me anything but miserable, I suspect. Ideally, I think I'd have social interaction on alternating days, with of course occasional deviation from said schedule when I need more or less socialization. From talking with friends, I appear to be pretty unique in the level and type of my need for space. I sometimes worry that my friends will be offended when I tell them about it, or if I suddenly disappear in the middle of a social situation that's gone on for a few hours. Oh well, so it goes. The conflicting urge to socialize and to be alone and have quiet sometimes feel like there's more than one me, struggling for the controls. Another (rhetorical?) question for my readers -- are there areas in your life where you feel strong wants pulling you in different directions? Are any of these low-level,perhaps instinctual needs struggling with each other? How do such conflicts differ from higher-level needs struggling with each other? To illustrate the difference, a low level need might be hunger, desire to dominate, libido, creativity, exhaustion, and a high level need might be a desire for success, honesty, a need to leave a good impression, .. ahh, the differences are kind of fuzzy when I tryto dig into it. Perhaps you have a better way to sort these out.


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