Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

You Inspire My Silence

I'm a little bit surprised and disappointed to find that the additional weight I had in my backpack for the DC trip caused it to be the case, but my back is rather sore. Recently I've been carrying around my USB hard drive in my bag with the computer, and I usually also have my Neuros with me. For that trip, I added in a change of clothes, hygene supplies, my digital camera, and pens/paper. People generally comment that my laptop bag is obscenely heavy, so maybe it's not a sign of ill health that I'm sore. I could really use a nice massage. Oh well.

There's a certain serenity in taking trips. To some extent, I hate doing it because my routines in life are so comfortable, but there's also something refreshing about the freedom it affords. I enjoyed sleeping at the rest stop. I enjoyed every slight deviation I took that was completely unplanned, each drive taking me someplace that I could not have predicted.

I had a friend last night join the crowd of people pointing out that I have a lot of ties to Jewishness in my life, despite not being of that culture, of the hebrew ethnicity, or the Judaist religion (yes, I'm imposing my terms on what he said, which was much simpler). Judaism and Jewish culture does in fact have a draw for me, but largely because I'm so close to it. Just like Newton's law of gravition.. kind of. There are many parts of it that deeply disturb or disgust me, but there are some other parts that are attractive. Usually they're not the same part, but we're all multifaceted people, and I suspect that within each of us is a little bit of tendency for everything. Most people couldn't admit it, not even to themselves, but the very things they hate in others are things that they, being as human as the people who practice it, could do, decisions or circumstances being different. I find Nationalism to be disturbing, and while the American patriotic songs, being largely inane and lame, have little draw for me, I have experimented (I'm sure I've mentioned this on my BLOG before) with enjoying patriotic songs for other countries, and I unsurprisingly, being human, can feel something there. Within me, within all humanity, lie in some forms the patterns or ways of thinking to be Idi Amin, Churchill, Carter, or Graham. We may lack the ability, but we share the nature. Socially, we are what we express. In reality, Goring and Schindler have the same inner nature.

Finally, I like the way my hair looks now -- it's long enough to be curly again. Hurrah.


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