Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn
dachte

First memories

"So then you showed up at a meeting wearing wrinkled kackis and a t-shirt with some obscure computer reference. With your long curly hair and big feet in bright white shoes, you looked a bit like a clown on his day off. I found you amusing and intriguing."My first ex-gf Martha, on her BLOG recently did one of those meme things where, well, I'll make it easy:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

I am not offering to do that here, but when I posted to decline to participate in the meme, she posted that above anyhow. I am amused. If you go hunt down the exact entry, there's a bit more context there -- Quealy was another member of the Libertarian contingent of SFF back in the day. Ahh, in looking him up now, the first time in a long time, I see another interesting quote.. Politically, love is an embracing of peculiar institutions under a moonlit sky. Quealy always was very quotable. I wonder if he would be amused to find that I'm commie now. Perhaps he wouldn't be surprised. He would probably be amused if he ever understood what I once thought about him, what I never had the courage to do. Sometimes in life, we make interesting mistakes, and sometimes we don't. Usually we don't know what would've been a mistake or not, or if something undone were a mistake. I think hindsight often just puts fog between one and events, and all one is left is one's memories, which one can never trust. Remembering how one felt seems easy, but can be tricky, and taking a different past and running it forward, impossible. Oh hell, might as well create maximum amusement possible and drop him a line. That hasn't exactly been a priority -- there are many things I could say or do which may stir things up in my life, but they all seem unwise. Maybe the fact that I'm sitting alone for another winter listening to Dar Williams with just my cats here says that I'm being too mild in my stirring things up, or perhaps this is the "best of all possible worlds", as the book phrase that everyone seems to love saying sticks in my head.

If I could change a few decisions.... or add some new ones or take out some...

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