Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Viva le neu Weltanschauung!

Against nature's rebellion, and using long-lost instinct forged into false memory, I stood on the grassy cliff, the wind pushing at me, the scraps of loose vegetation flying into my eyes. "You have forgotten how to be here" were the first words said, as she walked to me. She always was the silent type, telling me just what I needed to come to understanding on my own and nothing more, or so my memory lied to me again, for in reality there was not exactly a person standing near me. Distracting introspection dispelled for the moment, I look back, and see the thick marks of my boots behind me, welcome, and think of the halogen lamp and conveniences in last night's tent, not so welcome. I would ask for forgiveness, but forgiveness and blame are not concepts she is familiar with.

Some random, half-digested thoughts:

  • A few people owe me apologies for various things. I don't think they're going to give them, and asking for apologies is a sure way to get halfhearted ones. Of course, most apologies in our culture are not real, instead being tools to resume an exchange of social interactions and favours. When apologies are given, of course that exchange resumes, but they are meant to have a certain essense that is missing when they are not real. I would rather not have an apology at all than a shallow one.
  • Another random thought about Ceremony and the DJs there -- Popular music versus enriching music (that is, new, palette expanding) as analogue of politicians as statespeople versus representatives
  • Nation of Unix's national airline: STDERR (say it)
  • Bad joke: Why are there not many Jewish people from Michigan? Because they don't want to be called Meshugganuhs
  • I have been listening to Harmonium, a wonderful Quebequois band. It's very different than most of the music I listen to. Amusingly, I got my first Harmonium song almost a year ago when I was searching the filesharing networks for a good rendition of Dixie and downloaded what turned out to be a song completely unrelated to the song called Dixie I know. It was, however, very pleasant, and I got curious enough recently to seek more. I may hunt down a CD of theirs in a used music shop sometime. Like most of my other foreign music, they could be singing about doing a puppet show with roadkill and I'd still be singing along, in this case to the Quebequois French.
  • I recently recalled a social psych study indicating that people have a much easier time making friendships if they're physically attractive, and that being physically attractive and decently-well-dressed affects almost all aspects of treatment across all social groups. By that, we know that we're all shallow, and it makes sense, because we can find pretty decent evolutionary psych reasons that our brains work this way. This is true even of geeks. I suppose to a certain extent, ev psych makes me feel a little more comfortable with things I've noticed in myself that bothered me before. If someone were ugly, would I be less likely to hang out with them? Yes, although of course other factors could balance out the ugliness. Most of my friends are not bad-looking folk. I think about the way we forge our identities as people as being, roughly, a layer that modern society (largely outside of our evolutionary environment) that sits mostly above and mixes with the evolutionary psych-inspired bits below. There's a lot of stuff in modern society, either meaningless details or other things that were not part of the EEA that is breaking new psychological ground, and that needs explanations outside of EvPsych (and of course, EvPsych fundamentalism is wonderfully blind to what it would call "noise").
  • I don't think anything is going to come of my attempts to get E interested in me. Oh well. There are other people who I could see myself falling in love with, I just need to work up the will to subdue my introversion enough to socialise with them.
  • I like the "go to sleep when you get home", and "if you wake up again, do work and then sleep again" sleep/time management technique. It would admittedly be poor if I had a deadline the next day, because it utterly fails if the middle time needs an alarm to exist, but it's really spiffy to prevent sleep debt from carrying forward throughout the entire week.
  • I am hopefully nearly done with the first stage of my special non-work project, which is good because it is mind-bendingly difficult because it requires me to try to make sense of some data that doesn't fit well together.
  • I am implementing my umpteenth "simple web/database application" at work. It's become fairly easy because my standard perl toolbox has become pretty nice for these things as I've added and refactored it a million times. It, as always, needs its next major refactoring sometime soonish (meaning sometime between tomorrow and never)
  • The machine room at work is still not ready. Apparently, Baker Hall needs considerable refactoring to get everything set up. Also, apparently FMS canned a large number of their staff in the latest reorganisation, meaning this request came in the middle of chaos. Thinking in DnD terms, the architects of Limbo are always hard to reach.
  • This Friday is another KGB games night. I am looking forward to it
  • I am getting used to my much higher workload this semester
  • I owe 6 hours of my time to someone. I need to bug them about it, or are they supposed to bug me?
  • Apparently, at some point there's going to be a road trip held by KGB to an abandoned highway tunnel. I need to contact the appropriate people to find out when this is, so I can try to plan my workload accordingly
  • I like my new shoes
  • I want to do (indoor) rock climbing again... but preferably top-roping this time because I find bouldering dull. I need to bug Dmitriy and/or the KGBclimbing folk about this
  • I am doing my best not to be frustrated and cynical with a lot of things in my life that arn't that bad, but it's presently difficult
  • I still have a bit of wanderlust.. I want to live someplace warmer, or in Europe, or something. I wonder if I would fit in in Austin. I liked visiting there, and I do have family (although I have no idea if I can get along with my uncles while insisting that my father is dead to me). The feel of the area seems nice, I could ditch the northern accent I've adopted since my departure from Dallas so long ago, and would love to have Texas weather again. If I could land a nice university job down there, that'd be cool. I'm in no hurry, but I'm now pretty sure Pittsburgh should not be my final stop. I either want more culture/civilisation (Europe or possibly other places) or better weather (Texas, maybe Hawai'i or Australia).

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