When you are looking for something you can never find, you are always lost. I see now that i am just a small boat, trying to take sides in the endless battle of waves on my sides, not understanding that the waves are me just as much as the boat. The light touch of the patient ones has returned to me, and I again know how to use minimal effort to maximal effect. Do not fear the aperitif. The wind moves me, not as a puppet, but a trusted advisor. The water joins my toes, not clean, not unclean, as I forget those words, but very .. it feels right. At that moment, I forget that other words even exist for it.
I was rather bold on Wikipedia tonight. I believe what I did was both for the good of the encyclopedia and led to by Jimbo, our project founder (the other having long ago left us, the Woz to our Steve, perhaps? Except .. given what happened afterwards, we probably got the better end of the stick). My actions are likely to be highly controversial and possibly unpopular, but I did my very best to explain what I was doing and why. Now that it is done, I hope any bridges damaged can be mended. This is another Consensus versus Doing the Right Thing type of matter.
Tonight I also went to see Daniel Dennett speak at the Carnegie Music Hall. It was excellent (although because it was so good, it felt very short). I do think he was slightly sloppy in his understanding of some areas of science though -- he dismissed MRI research in particular, characterising it by narrow connections to hearing words to activations. I don't think any actual research in the field would waste time on what he describes -- actual MRI research has the potential to understand much deeper things about the brain. He also seemed to enjoy kind of a schizophrenic attitude towards respectful dialogue -- he liked to play as being all friendly with some religious folk in his research, but he kept dropping very nasty (and funny) jabs at them all throughout his speech. This didn't offend me, but I found it kind of odd. It may have been fine-tuning to his audience though -- I saw a number of fellow CMU psychology people there, with the vast majority of people looking like university professors of various sorts. The crowd also appeared to have a lot of built-up anger about the entire religious revival and polarisation in the United States. In a way it was refreshing to see that people in their 40s and up can be so livid, en masse, but in a way it was .. perhaps a bit scary? In any case, all these things aside, it was a great experience. Apparently, there was also an ACLU presentation of some sort at roughly the same time that I missed. It sounds like there was sone pretty bad scheduling involved.
I apparently, due to bureaucratic error, did not actually get bought at the KGB Auction (or if I was bought, I was bought by a different person than the final bidder). I'll probably drop a note to the relevant parties to see if I'm still bought or not. Or I could be lazy and see if anyone claims 6 hours of my time. If not, I'll have more time to .. well, probably do work, and possibly to get an accordion and learn to play it.
I have some interesting theories about KGB touchingness (which I still find endlessly fascinating) which I'll drop some snippets of here:If KGB's touch-ness acts as an emotional support by having people be halfway in relationships constantly, and if it gives evolutionary advantages by making it more likely, people already half-having relationships courtesy physical familiarity, that people within will date within.
I think I need to accept that there is more muddy ground between a fling (which I've had one of) and a relationship that will necessarily lead to a life partner, and that that can be good to explore. Perhaps exploring that ground will more easily lead to a life partner in the end anyhow, and even if not, I'll get more out of life. Even another fling might not be a bad thing.
In line with another recent entry of mine, I'm exploring the very wide genre of Flamenco music. I also have been enjoying some very fresh, awesome oranges I got from the supermarket. Hurrah for sensual pleasures!
This wednesday, I'm going to some sporting goods stores with some of the people I'm going to be hiking with to get some needed gear. This will be my first experience roughing it to this degree, I think (water purification tablets and all). I am as of yet uncertain if this will work out well for my need for space or not. Internet withdrawl will be interesting too.