Regression 22. The words a curse in his mouth. The tyrrany of a second chance left him bitter, for knowing the things he knew, and seeing the path he was still on. A few steps back, a glorious gift, but knowledge shaped him, controlled him, had him captured more firmly than a prison. Freiheit gegen Schicksal, oder veilleicht self-improvement versus his nature. The reopened wounds represent another chance to set things right, a return to more primitive times to fix a dystopia. We are not meant to confront ourselves, he thought, not meant to be given the greatest gift and the worst torture in every breath of sweeter air. Still, a recollection that a grave is also restful, but for some later time. A trembling hand reaches for the brush, to confirm and deny the insubstantial marks of lead.
I had a rather fun time sitting and playing in the rain today after work. Also, I realised something (largely unrelated to the above story/brainslush/whatever) which I'm not sure how to evaluate but I'm not going to share. I'm like that sometimes :)
I am pretty certain that Pittsburgh is a bad place for me to live (because of the cold and snow), seeing how happy I've been for the last few days since the weather has been consistently warm (warm rain rocks!). I am all gloomy for half the year because of it, and that's really not a good way to live my life. I have until next midfall to ponder this trend before I am immersed in it again.