Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Sweat, Smoke, and Mirrors

Tension: The part of me that can analyse one of my life dreams: finding love with a life partner, explore the world and our minds, eventually have children, raise them, grow old together, and eventually the relief of death .. versus knowing that I actually want that. I can imagine a lot of the details of that life, and emotionally it's still the centre of everything I dream of (and the idea of it not happening scares the hell out of me), but on some intellectual level I'm bored of it before I even get started. This isn't all of my intellect - some of that yearns for someone whom I can intellectually invest without fear of abandonment/endings (at least, so long as we live) as a counterpart to emotional investment, but there's still a hedging part that both suggests they won't put in the effort to understand me and also discounts that life path because it's easily traced. I suspect that the latter objection is invalid - perhaps that's a part of me that will not be satisfied no matter what I do, the eternal malcontent (Amusement: I've occasionally met people whose eternal malcontentedness dominates their personality on either single topics or life in general). Dreams .. they're tricky to deal with.

I've been wondering how the societies that evolve in jail and other restricted environments might be more emotionally satisfying (due to high amounts of socialisation and closeness - perhaps similar to EEA?) than modern life. In a recent conversation, L pointed out that modern society is hardly monolithic, so the comparison is kind of broken. Fair criticism, but the idea's still interesting and this is just a phrasing/entry to lead to thought.

I was kind of amused to hear about the investigator trying to sneak into Defcon - Eric and I have been keeping an eye on how widely that news makes it into the mainstream press. My intuition is that it's not going to be very interesting to the mainstream public, while for the geek community it's both topical and amusing in the "arn't we the bee's knees" way - "we, the youth and technologically apt people who are naturally better than everyone else and are building a new world, beat off some representatives of the old world, who just don't get it, when they tried to invade our culture in defcon" or something like that. Searching google news suggests only a limited penetration of the story into non-computer press (so far). As for Defcon itself, I'm not particularly fond of the event - I can't complain too strongly because of my history with that subculture and similar events, but I don't like the attitudes it encourages in people (even though much awesome geeky creativity happens too) - not much different from reading 2600. (Side amusement: Jason Scott apparently frequents these events and gives speeches. It'd be tempting to go to NotACon just to be amused - one of the few old-time lamers kooky enough to compare to Greg Deeter).. It's interesting looking at how subcultures create their own norms, and thus have their potential for their own "folk wisdom" and dogma..

I thought this article on how/what to share in happy relationships to be really interesting. Most of it generalises well to other things too. One of the things that I've found odd is that some (non-majority) old, happy couples end up having separate beds in their bedroom when they get old enough (70s or older). Back to the article, sharing music playlists seems unwise as no matter how close people become, their musical tastes will never mesh entirely (just as if one partner dislikes spinach, their partner will probably never start to dislike it). Privacy/sharing of email, computer accounts, etc, might be doable in some cases.. Is it a good idea? Probably depends on comfort of the people involved - the degree to which a shared identity is necessary/positive/etc...


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