Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

What is a Relationship?

My priority in relationships:

  • 25% - Physical Intimacy - Having someone to cuddle with at night, when one needs hugs, is feeling depressed, etc. Likewise, someone with whom casual human contact would come to feel appropriate (massages, arm around the shoulders, lying on their stomach or leaning against them, etc). A fairly large part of this is going to sleep with and waking up with said person almost every evening/morning
  • 15% - Feeling of not being alone in life - from planning future together to taking care of each other. Included in this is being an activity partner for a wide range of activities
  • 35% - Intellectual companionship - Having someone to bounce ideas off of and understand one's "theme" of living, as well as having someone else with depth to explore. Included in this is sharing some of the "missions" in life I have.
  • 15% - Sex - Having someone interested in exploring sexuality with, compatible with one's interests and style
  • 5% - Networking/Interpersonal - Having someone to act as a social helper, also to help temper the rough edges of my personality with appropriate nagging
  • 5% - Practicals - Having someone help with practical things in areas where on is not particular practical (different people are practical in different arenas)
Sufficient lack in any of these may be (but is not necessarily) a deal-breaker and likely would be at least a difficulty.

I wonder how others differ in this regard. I sometimes hear guys talking about sex as the primary value of relationships, and I wonder if they're really being honest or if they're just "towing the party line" on masculinity. It frustrates me that such a party line exists and it taints honest discussion of needs and wants in our society as much as it does.


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