Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Geek of a Different Colour

Dreams: Opportunities to revisit past conversations

Some time ago in another city, back when I drank no alcohol at all:

  • Them: So you're straightedge?
  • Me: What does that mean?
  • Them: (explanation)
  • Me: Ahh, well then probably accidentally; not necessarily by any cultural or ideological conviction or sympathy
I don't really relate very well to people, and I think part of it may be that (apart from my feeling that people in general don't like me and that whomever I'm talking to will eventually not like me) I sound like a big windbag when I respond like that. Maybe the right answer was "kinda, maybe", and giving the careful, reasoned answer that I was thinking was an insistence on a level of precision in which most people are uninterested (or overcommunication in general). Or maybe there's a shorter way of phrasing it that still eludes me. I've occasionally met other people who talk like me in their level of detail and nuance, but not often, and so while I am generally a good observer of human nature, it doesn't really tell me a lot about failures in communication for people with inclinations like mine. Maybe the real problem is the paranoia and self-loathing, or perhaps it's just that I think too much about this stuff and it's like riding a bike while paying too much attention.

I sometimes wish I had more I could competently talk about more on my blog outside of the topics of

  • Current events
  • What does it mean to be human (or intelligent)
  • Political philosophy
  • Random dreams, poetry, etc
  • omg my life is terrible I am lonely and bored
I don't pay a lot of attention to the stuff I write, but I'm not really sure I would read it if I were somebody else - I am more interested in reading and talking about science, but I'm not particularly qualified to say a lot beyond restating things I remember from years past. Someone who didn't know me (not too many people really know me that well in Pgh) would assume I'm a political theory fanatic, and that's just one of my interests - are blogs representations of all of who we are, or are they just a kind of habit that naturally captures only a thin slice of us? Perhaps real-life relationships are like that, although the slices tend to be thicker.

In theory, I could post more creative stuffs here, but given how little interest there was the last time, uploading might be a waste of time. Maybe in the long run, twitter is more sustainable than blogs for most people - finding something meaningful to say about the world is reasonably difficult, and most people lack the attention span to read or write long diary entries. Anyone can (in theory) put out an endless supply of short (possibly pithy) quips about everyday existence (by extension, this may be why Jon Stewart's comedy is more sustainable than Monty Python was - people who understand British politics and society of the appropriate times can see the deeply satirical bits underlying the surface funny, but it was never event-driven and so eventually creative juices dry out. A mix of straight news, joke news, and comedy is a recipe for a long career, so we'll probably see Stewart's hair continue to get greyer on TV).

Tried some of the Champagne Champegne last night because I doubt anything worth celebrating will come up soon - one of the few dry wines that I appreciate, it's very pleasant. Sadly, even the partial cup I had gave me a lingering headache for most of today (although that may be because I've not been eating well again recently - having a delicious sandwich (pesto is a close second to mustard for being the best universal condiment) at a local sandwich place helped a bit). Hopefully I'll finish the rest before it goes flat.

In theory I have a lot more to write about, but I'm still kind of frazzled and grumbly that these ideas never turn into real-world conversations anymore. Upside: enjoying some tasty cupcakes.


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