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Semiformalishmaybe

Half-written dreams

Last night I had a strange dream that was operating from the certainty that I was going to have a baby (not physically), but didn't actually provide a mechanism by which that was going to happen; I was still single and lonely, and I was travelling the country trying to round up an emergency support network for myself, trying to turn acquaintences of whom I'm fond but never really built friendships with into proper friends (surprising number of those, many of whom probably don't know how highly I think of them because I never tend to express that directly). As the dream went on I came to realise that being sure I was going to be a father didn't square with my being single/not having impregnated anyone; rather than reexamining the premise, I retained that ironclad certainty but became increasingly confused as to how it was supposed to happen (I didn't get the impression that I needed to make it happen); was the baby going to be birthed through a hole in the universe? Would it just appear somehow? Arrive in the mail? The confusion/frustration continued to build until I woke up with a WTF.

IRL I am eager to be a father someday, but I want to do it the fun way (maybe adopting another) and with a suitable life-partner.

Disturbing thought:

What if on-sum it could be shown that psychosomatic effects are so strong that, used to the utmost, used exclusively they prevent more misery than traditional medicine? What if the skeptic, in such a society, were effectively immune to the positive effects of such medicine?

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I want to do it the fun way

I assume you mean that phrasing at least partially in jest, but oh man did it make me cringe. Sometimes I have dreams about having babies, too (I had one just a few nights ago, even), and I wake up totally nauseated and panicked. Pregnancy is a phobia of mine -- I admit it's partially irrational, but partially founded on some of the truly horrible potential side-effects. So I'm pretty sure adoption is the fun way. :)
I actually assumed that "the fun way" MEANT adoption, till I read the next phrase. I guess men and women have different ideas about which way is more fun!

That said, I wouldn't give up the experience of being pregnant, even though I had my fair share of horrible side-effects. Sometimes as I'm drifting to sleep I miss the feeling of falling asleep while getting kicked in the abdomen. :-)
I hope it's more the visceral fear of pregnancy rather than philosophical disapproval. I can understand the phobia though (although I am envious over the ability to create life). The physical process of actually giving birth does sound pretty scary when you think about the logistics.

I do feel bad for my mom, having had 4 kids (3 pregnancies) through C-section. I was a huge baby (over 10 lbs at birth).

Edited at 2011-12-12 11:19 pm (UTC)
Definitely just visceral. I do see myself as somewhat likely to eventually want to have kids, and specifically wanting to share DNA with them (mostly, this comes out of having a great relationship with my own parents, and thinking it would be neat to be on the other side of that relationship), though I am in no hurry.

I think I wouldn't mind the actual birth-giving, since they have drugs for that, but I get squicked out by pretty much anything being under my skin (also: needles/IVs, cysts/acne)*. Also I deeply hate nausea -- I almost prefer straight-up pain -- and nausea is how my body reacts to pretty much anything, from hunger to sudden changes in temperature. I know my mother had pretty severe morning sickness during her pregnancies, so I'm pretty sure I'd be in for the same. Add into that things like ectopic pregnancies, forced c-sections, and assorted "complications," and... shudder.

*this does not bode well for my cyborg future, sadly, and is probably why I am interested in wearables
I have a lot of the same queasiness regarding things under the skin; I have passed out countless times at doctors' offices during blood drawings (occasionally injuring myself sliding off chairs onto the floor before I learned to warn doctors about it). I've sometimes had the same worries about the idea of cybernetic implants.

I think I probably will be worried to death that my SO would die on me during pregnancy, if I'm ever fortunate enough to make a relationship with the right person.

Acne doesn't squick me though.
Yeah, even without sharing any fear or revulsion, my response to reading "the fun way" was to be skeptical of just how "fun" the biological, DIY route is. I've heard others use "the fun way" when referring to procreation before, so I knew what Pat meant, but the phrase struck me as off because I evaluate the process over the full span from sex to childbirth, and the majority of the process for the mother can be pretty difficult and gross. That's not to say it's not worthwhile or enjoyable in other ways, but I wouldn't expect pregnancy to be described as "fun," and I'd rather not reduce the description to just the initial step, nor to the experience of only one human involved.
Huh. I never thought about it that way. That's a valid philosophical criticism.