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Treading on Ashes

Yesterday I had one of the longest migraines I've had in my life; not the most intense (by a wide measure), but it went for about 14 hours, ranging from "this hurts a lot but I should do other things and try to distract myself from it and let's drink overly hot tea" to the thrashing and camping out in a hot shower using the hottest water I can get to lessen the pain in my head. I'm feeling kind of robbed, in that while at some point I passed out or fell asleep and woke up this morning largely migraine-free, I'm still feeling very off, have a bit of continued aura and nausea and persperation, and am worried that I might go back into migraine-land. Not fair! I am supposed to have a post-migraine high.

I'm especially grumbly because I was supposed to do important things at work yesterday, and I also had a nice day planned of napping in the park and reading planned after that; only now am I starting to get the focus needed to do work things, but I'm actually feeling like I might be sick, which is a pretty rare occurence for me.

Spent the morning at the Brooklyn DMV getting my driver's license transferred (Which is not in itself a high priority, but I want the city to know I'm here for voting and tax purposes, and I think the driver's license thing does those too). I almost felt like I was cheating at life playing a videogame while waiting in line while everyone else looked bored out of their skulls.

I might actually grab a meal with my father the next time he's in town; still not at all happy with him, but my mom has been nagging me about this not-talking-with-him thing for the last few months.


My mother always got post-migraine highs. I get post-migraine hangovers. Not so fun!

Lately I've been getting three- or four-day migraines, BUT they're "silent migraines," i.e., all the symptoms except the headache (as long as I avoid light and noise). Last time I even had some mild paralysis, which was a new one for me.

I think it's hard to explain to a non-migraineur what it's like to know that with no warning a whole day or more of your life may get sucked away into unspeakable pain and nausea. It really, really sucks.

Do you have any particular triggers?

Hope it subsides soon!
I'm not sure what the triggers might be; I get migraines somewhere between 1-2 times a week (fall, sometimes spring) and twice a month (other seasons). I've tried altering my diet and a few other things, and haven't really seen any noticable changes.

The idea of silent migraines is intriguing (still probably not fun).

Naturally, I'd happily ditch the post-migraine highs in exchange for ditching the migraines, if I ever got that offer. It's hard imagining not having the vague worry of another migraine around the corner in my life though. I guess there's also learning everywhere I'm living well enough to make it blind to the shower and turn it on (either because my eyes are shut or because it's one of those rare migraines that takes my vision away). Yay.

I think what really gets me is the worry that it's going to happen on a trip or during a critical time in my life (e.g. if I need to give a speech, or am on vacation, or something). I once had one while visiting a friend for a few days in another state, and they were probably puzzled when I spent one of those days with a pillow over my head in the room where I was staying. What if I ever meet the right person and am to be married, but get one on the wedding day? That'd be awful :(
Yeah I think the dread that one could happen any time is the worst part.

When I started getting them, air travel was my biggest trigger. I got my first one while flying internationally by myself. I thought I was having a stroke and was going to die, but on the plus side, when I have a migraine dying sounds like a pretty good idea so I didn't worry too much.

Right now the sucky thing is that I absolutely cannot take care of Zoe while I have a migraine, which means Justin has to take time off work every time. It's terrible to be using up *someone else's* PTO days with this nonsense.

Have you tried medication? I just started on amitriptyline three weeks ago, so it's too soon to tell if it's working. (To be honest I'm starting to feel a little visual weirdness right now.) I'm seeing a neurologist in a couple months to hopefully get on a better long-term medication for it.

OK, off to bed with a sleep mask. Fingers crossed that my eyes are just tired and this isn't an aura!