Pat Gunn (dachte) wrote,
Pat Gunn

Southern Xmas

Here's an early draft of a song that popped into my head earlier today. It fits a particular tune I have in mind, but it's low-grade filk so you can probably think of a better tune and rework it as needed. Please consider it public domain, and I'm not particularly proud of it so if you think it sucks, that's fine (it'd be fine even if I were very proud of it too). Speaker's position is (obviously, if you know me) not exactly mine. It's meant as a kind of snarky anti-carol to the part of the United States I'm from.

I'm stuck in the south for this horrid Christmas season
Hearing the carols of those too fond of treason
from those who prefer aryans
to those goddamned libertarians
but at least there's some good chilli, and it's hardly ever freezin'

Married to a Southern Belle, we're switching off the years
Even: sun tea and pecan pie odd: chinese food and pilsner beers
In down south's "cold" I feel my limbs and always like the mode of speech
But that can't excuse the backwardness in what they seem to preach

I'm stuck in the south for this horrid Christmas season
Hearing the songs from those too fond of treason
Smiles and shaking oil greased palms that cheer national pollution
Trying to avoid wife-beater-wearing hicks who never got 'nuff evolution

A local sport is beating on a gay
And gerrymandering only seems to go one way
If hispanics move in should
they complain "there goes the neighbourhood"?
The most belle thing from these whole trips
is when "bella ciao" slips from my lips


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